A Letter To My Daughter: You Don't Have To Be a Good Girl

by Haylee Hackenberg (follow)

Parenting (50)      Advice (44)     

You are growing every day, before my eyes and it is glorious to watch. Your arms and legs, once covered in delicious marshmallow rolls, have stretched into willow. Your face is now a masterpiece of the constantly changing myriad of your emotions (I’m sorry my darling, like me, you'll never be very good at poker).



Ah those 3-year-old emotions. So big. So all encompassing. Ever so forceful. In a world where our feelings are so undervalued, I fear your emotions are too big for most. I watch people, growing more and more uncomfortable if you don't "shhhh" when you're upset. It unsettles them, this kind of raw, unfettered emotion. It unsettles me too, so unused are we to sharing our feelings in a "she'll be right" culture.

Inevitably, the hushed disapproval begins. "Come on, be a good girl". A good girl. Held up as the epitome of adjectives we can aspire to as a young female. I am here to tell you, my darling, that is utter crap.

You do not have to be a good girl. I hope you will be a kind girl. A funny girl. A curious girl. A girl who's self-worth radiates from her very being. I hope you will be an imaginative girl. A thoughtful girl. A passionate and compassionate girl. I hope you will be a girl who knows when to practice humility. I hope you will be a courageous girl. A loving girl. A gracious and respectful girl. More than anything my darling, I hope you are a girl who knows she can be all of these, or none of these, and that is ok. That not one of these adjectives can even come close to describing the girl that you are.

A girl who is content in the knowledge that she does not have to dull herself to make anyone more comfortable, that's the girl I hope you will be.

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